Tuesday morning...a little early to be awake, after all, there is no Greek to study...but good thinking time...
I came across some blogs belonging to fellow pastors and some thoughts came to mind.
It seems really strange that we can display our lives up on a blog for anyone in the world to read and follow. I wonder though, do anyone one of us who write these entries, apparently wanting them to be read, put the actual cold truth of our lives in such a public place? Whenever I read facebook or other people's blogs, I only read good stuff....never what people are really feeling - surely their lives cannot be that great ALL THE TIME....but perhaps they are. So that is the reason why I try to steer clear of blogs...where's the truth...the cold light of day truth....the truth that lets others know that life is really messy and most of the time we are barely surviving? For most of us, life is crazy...perhaps that's the way it was meant to be...it's a journey of adventure and can be off the charts exciting if we look at it from various angles, but it's still crazy.
Stuff happens in our lives that is not all good...of course that pushes me to write about stuff of which I am not comfortable sharing...stuff that happens that is not the way I had planned it to be in the hope that writing will push me to consider that all things are really being worked for good; is that a misuse of Scripture?
A couple of weeks ago in church, Pastor Mandy was coming to the end of the series on David. She is one awesome speaker....and I am just discovering that...and having started this series at the beginning of the summer, we were now at the stage of David finally becoming King, sitting in his beautifully cedar lined palace, surveying his surroundings. "Who am I, Sovereign Lord, and what is my family that you have brought me this far? And as if this were not enough in your sight, Sovereign Lord, you have also spoken about the future of the house of your servant - and this decree, Sovereign Lord, is for a human being." (2 Samuel 7:18) She encouraged us to think of our own lives in that way - who am I, Sovereign Lord, that you would have taken a woman from Edinburgh, gift her musically, whisper to her to get up and move away from her family, to a place that is a little familiar but really quite foreign, and settle there for a while?
When I first came to Seminary, I did not know that I was heading to be a pastor; all I knew was that I was following the voice of the One who was doing the calling....my specific calling has come later, during a year long internship in Bend, OR (my second home).
As David said, "Here am I, living in this city at this time, been brought through places and classes that I had no idea how to get through, but my God is a faithful God who brings people into my life at just the right time..." Who I am, Sovereign Lord, that you would call me daughter, most precious child, in a world of fear, and doubt and destruction and unknown, and tell me that YOU are my peace, my protection and my provision?"
Here am I, living in an apartment in Chicago, entering my final year (I hope) of school....that, my readers, is a miracle...
It's raining again...so it's humid again...praise God for air-con...
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