Comparisons...

I have recently been considering this word and it's implications in my life; past and present but hopefully in a different way for the future. Have you ever been compared to someone else, in looks, style, gifts, talents, academic abilities and so on? I would be surprised to hear you say, "no" and even more surprised if you were to tell me that you, yourself, have not compared yourself to another in some way. I suppose from our earliest moments we are being compared to another - my kid is smarter, has learned faster, can already write their name, can read what the charts tells us they are able to read at their age, has "good" friends, is nice to those friends, is the right height, weight, shape, whatever that is desirable and this list goes on through grade school, middle and then high school. Then we get to college. I did my undergrad degree at a music conservatoire and comparisons by professors with my peers decided whether or not I was chosen for the chamber ("elite") orchestra, ensembles, or elected to attend particular conferences and seminars....lots of "who's better than the next" going on. It was written into our curriculum (or so it seemed), our esteem, our confidence and our futures. I suppose that when I look back on those times, it is no wonder that comparison to the other is almost intrinsically stained deeply my being and part of my thinking.

I am a compare freak. I admit it - and I am in the process of letting go of this dis-ease because I believe that it is one of the most unhealthy and well used tools of the evil one. If we can be convinced that we are less than what we are designed to be, then we will perhaps start losing the absolute truth that God is for us and not against us and that we uniquely designed, not for competition, but for good.

Last year my roommate, Sarah, and I were looking for internships and she secured her's before I did. She was leaving Chicago before I was; she would be driving out to Seattle for a coffee-shop job. I couldn't take any off-campus employment; the US government and visa regulations will not allow me. Sarah was going to a "healthy" church, with a pastor she had met at the Covenant's Annual Pastor's gathering (Mid Winter Conference). Sarah was prepared to go anywhere, and was fairly relaxed about where that anywhere was. I, on the other hand, really wanted to go to a church that was nearer the UK, i.e., the East Coast, or as close to Chicago as I could get, if not actually remaining in Chicago. However, God had other plans for me, plans that I did not like....a move to the Pacific North West (2000 miles in the "wrong" direction), a small church, one that had struggled and was apparently still struggling. Sarah was going to live with a couple who had consistently opened their home to young people in need of a home; no such place for me; I was invited to a couple with 2 very young children - apparently they were the only people to offer. Sarah sounded as if she would have a lot of space; I couldn't imagine space with 2 young children. Sarah was a small group coach on campus; I wanted to be one but was not given that opportunity. Sarah, it seemed got what she wanted; I did not. And yet, all the time, I was coming to realize that while I was comparing myself to her, God was gently telling me and showing me that He had plans uniquely for me; that was with what I needed to be concerned; not what was going on with others. Comparisons like these are dangerous and not worth the time and mind space to which I freely give them.

I have been considering comparisons in the Bible; they usually ended in disaster so perhaps the wisdom lies there. It starts with Cain getting upset that Abel's offering to the LORD was looked on with favor, but on Cain's offering, God did not look with favor. So Cain got mad, sulked and whined and in anger, killed his younger sibling. God was clear to Cain:

"Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted?" (Genesis 4:6-7)

Cain knew what was the right thing to do but he didn't do it. He got upset that his brother was getting all the credit. Esau and Jacob were compared to each other by their parents (aren't parents supposed to love their children uniquely?) and they hated each other for a while. As Joseph's brothers compared themselves to him, they got bitter, threw him in a pit, then made money out of selling him to a bunch of Ishmaelites - kind of shoddy treatment to do to your flesh and blood.

The gospel writer, Luke, records an argument that broke out amongst the disciples about who was the greatest and Jesus demonstrated that the least is the greatest among us. But of all the biblical examples, it is disciple Peter who hits close to where my heart is when after all that has happened, he still turns around and seeing his buddy, John, asks Jesus what's going to happen to him. Jesus' answer strikes gently but firmly to the core of this post;

"If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me." John 21:22

What is that to you? I wince at those words...I must follow Jesus and the road marked out uniquely for me. The comparison game is dangerous and out of tune with what is for me...not what is for someone else.

I want to be like King David who said, "Who am I, Sovereign Lord, and what is my familyk that you have brought me this far?" (2 Samuel 7:18) The Soverign Lord who has brought me through many dangers, toils and snares, but all the time preparing me for what is uniquely for me and not for anyone else. What else can I do but follow what is specific for me?

I will keep you posted on progress...

Good wisdom

So I read this today and wanted to share it;

Keep your eye on the prize, and you will get through...God will get you through.

When you say, "I am too tired", God says "I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28-30).
When you say "I can't go on", God says "My grace is sufficient" (II Cor 12:9 & Psalm 91:15).
When you say "I can't manage", God says "I will supply all your needs" (Philippians 4:19).
When you say "I am afraid", God says "I have not given you a spirit of fear" (II Tim 1:7).
When you say, "I can't figure things out", God says "I will direct your steps" (Proverbs 3:5-6).
When you say, "I feel all alone", God says "I will never leave you" (Hebrews 13:5)

That's all for today...